I want to invite you to love God with no self-intention, but only for His sake. Let us learn that we don't need to say a lot to Him or even think of Him much, for He sees our deepest parts, our sufferings, our hurt, our joys, our pain, our needs and our willingness to obey and submit. With people we love we don't need to always say "I love you with all my heart". TRUE LOVE IS DEEP, DEEP DOWN IN THE SPIRIT- uncomplicated, unsophisticated, peaceful, wild and silent. Just gazing at Him, just looking and savoring His attention and His affection. Believe me, that won't make you selfish or self-centered, but rather it makes you more like Him.
The more your outward man delights in some sort of
pleasure in prayer, the less delight there is in the Lord. But the
less you care for the outward thrills of spiritual things…ah,
here is something which delights the Lord.
Miguel de Molinos
I personally always wanted to be instantly mature before God, BUT He wants me to grow a little at a time and not erupt in sudden maturity. This is His decision, and I can only fall in love and adore His wisdom... even when I don't understand. Looking back I can admire what He has accomplished... of course, I haven't always dealt like a good follower of His and I am ashamed, but believe me, I have learned so much from my foolish reactions (and I often don't react properly), so I'm here to endure the painful but wonderful process of change. Join me, because there's much more to it than our instant maturity.
God wants to build a relationship with us that is based on trust and faith and not on fame, glamorous miracles, accomplishments, self-gratification, etc. He's our Daddy, He wouldn't ever hurt us, He just cuts us off those things we love in the wrong way. Our oversensitiveness (mine for sure) makes those times worse... but let us want to abandon ourselves to Him alone! Come on, let us -in a violent manner- really give up all that holds us back from Him. Yes, let us -in a violent manner- turn our will over to God to do His will alone. Let us not want to follow Him only to feel His presence, closeness and comfort, because these are wrong reasons. Let our hearts shout out to Him and tell Him: "I really desire and want to hold to You alone and don't rely on anything I feel or envision or taste. I want to chase after You, not after visions, visitations, dreams, prophesies, restorations or healing."
If we go through "night" and suffering we will go through it with heads lifted high because there He heals us and purifies us. Be sure that His hands hurt us as little as it can. These times don't slow us down in our journey toward Him, maybe they seem to, but in reality they accelerate us toward the final point of our lives.
So, I want to invite you to lose everything to find God for Himself alone.
Usually we won't want to loose everything till it's ripped away from us. Maybe we can't see what holds our affections or maybe we don't want to loose something, because we're afraid. Maybe you think "well, I don't run after wealth, fame or honor" but do you seek trust, common interest, confidence, sympathy, understanding, etc.? Just try to take away these comforts and maybe you will be offended, shocked, hurting, pained... and doesn't these then show what or whom you love? He allows pride or gluttony or fury or desperation to attack our faith to use it to humble our natural human pride. It is necessary for the human makeup to go through a little dryness. Let us want our inward parts to be humbled, quieted and surrendered to God and His will, entering the place where we realize we have nothing and we embrace His all.
This week I was really encouraged a lot through the passion, love, lyrics and songs of Lindy Conant! Here's the song that speaks about what I was writing above (but every song is great, it's worth it to check them out):
I will obey You God
whatever men may say
I stand on promises
I know my God has made
With no regrets in me
My lips will praise Your name
And though the earth gives way
I will not be afraid
You are the Lord of Lords
You open every door
You stand in victory
And now my heart is Yours
I will trust in You God
And I will not be moved
When persecution comes
I choose to stand
- I was really inspired by Molinos