I just remembered one of my dreams which touched me deeply and which also gave me a strong assurance that God cleansed all my sins. I want to share it with you:
In my dream I was laying on a very dusty road and I was dirty myself. But I saw Jesus' feet before me and they were shining very brightly. Surprisingly I started to sing a song out of my whole heart which I listened to some months ago before I had the dream (so after waking up I was so amazed that I remembered the song). This were the words: "If I could just touch the hem of His garment, I know I'd be made whole. If I could just press my way through this madness, His love would heal my soul, if only one touch!" While I was singing and in a way my heart screaming these words, I started to reach out my hand towards His feet with my face down looking at the dust. I felt so unworthy to raise my head, I was ashamed of my condition and I knew He was pure and glorious shining brighter than the stars. I think these pictures show exactly how it was in my dream:
The pictures are so, sooo similar that I could say that I could have been the woman on the ground (Mary Magdalene). Then when I touched His feet, I felt a water flowing through me cleansing me from every sin and transgression. I felt such a deep love...hm! I found some courage and started lifting my head to the glowing body of Jesus, because I desired to see His face...
...but I woke up.... I couldn't look at Him as Mary looked, but I so desired to see Him face to face. It was such an awesome dream and experience, I really was soooo touched by the dream. I would never forget it.
I knew that "I had to touch the hem of His garment, and I know I've been made whole, and how I had pressed my way through this madness and His love has healed my soul". I just want to encourage you to be free to reach out to Him, because He won't reject you... He'll take you in as you are. Then He'll cleanse you, He'll give you a love you have never felt and clothe you with His robe (freedom, holiness, purity, beauty, etc.). The glory of Jesus is that He succeeds where others fail. He brings healing and restoration when doctors say none is possible. He offers forgiveness when the heart says it can't ever be forgiven. Jesus extends comfort when the agony is too great to carry it further and peace when all is chaos. He presents the possible after years of impossibility.
I want to encourage you to listen to Nicole C. Mullen's song One Touch. It's such a great song and has great words. Take a few minutes to listen to it:
Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion.
— Psalm 103:1–4