Even if you don't feel...
The previous week I've had such a spirit of condemnation and shame upon me. I had such a melancholic depression upon me that I thought I'm going crazy. I felt all the pain that I went through in my earlier years and was feeling so sad and dirty. Although I knew I'm in Christ and I'm no longer the same person I was and although I was living my daily life, these feelings haunted me and wouldn't want to leave. It was like a winter season I was experiencing with its cold winds blowing through every part of me, shivering in the cold and vibrating silently like a single leaf that remained there on the tree after autumn. It was weird indeed... unpleasant as well. Then I realized I was focusing on me, how I lived, how I am and how I'm going to be. I was obsessed with seeing the things I lacked in my relationship with the Lord and all the deficiencies in my time with Him. I started searching for reasons why I'm feeling this way. I thought I was living after the b