A post from me again, finally! In the past weeks, I've often been concerned about my outward looks and how I'm not gaining weight even though I eat a lot, how I look like a teenage girl, how white my skin is, how my hair isn't standing as I want it to, how my eyes change their color and so on and so forth. So many unnecessary cares, but still they suddenly pop up and you see yourself facing them. I'm writing this because I realized that outward beauty isn't what makes a person although many think that. But as I think about my experiences with people I have good memories of those who weren't beauty-queens on the outside, but marvelous and amazingly beautiful on the inside!
The previous week I also had a dream although I haven't remembered my dreams for so long till now, because of deep sleep after working (we moved into a new house), I suppose. My dream started with me being in high school again. And the teacher was teaching us history. He was speaking some nonsense, like we're coming from apes and so on. Then suddenly a colleague of mine said that it's not true and he knows the truth. The teacher told him to stand up and to tell everyone what foolishness he's talking about. My classmates started chattering and making fun of the one who spoke up. I only set in my seat and was so ashamed that I wasn't the one who was standing there, as I'm an introvert and struggle to speak in front of people. So my colleague started telling us that He had a dream...and when he told his dream I was like transported into the dream-world he was speaking about. He said:
I saw myself in a surgery. God was working on me. Angels were massaging my neck while God was telling me: >>You're holy, you're holy, you are holy, you are pure, you are loved, you are good, you are wise, you are beautiful, you are accepted, etc. I give Life! I give mothers. I give fathers. I give siblings.<< I saw and heard this in real life although it was a dream. It was sooo true.
As he was saying that everything was true and very real because he didn't believe in God before but now he does, my "spirit"/ conscience came back into the classroom and I saw my colleague standing in the front of the class. Then he suddenly said that God told him that somebody will speak with him about a Blood-Covenant that was made with Him and that he should listen to that person carefully. When I heard that, I knew that very person was me...I knew it 100%, I don't know how to explain, but I knew. Then I woke up, but I know I was determined to speak about Jesus to my colleague afterwards.
It was a little weird because when my colleague spoke about his dream I was like a spectator but also as one sitting on the surgery desk, being the one God was working on. So I realized that I am what God says I am and not what or how I or others see myself, although I know the theory about all these things, but in a way when you are faced with these things you kinda forget many things you think you know. God is always so faithful in teaching me what really matters in His relationship with me, how I can focus on Him and how much I'm worth in His eyes. Hold your head high and praise God for all He is to you and for all you are to Him! You will be amazed by the sweet thoughts He has about you. Everything you are will praise Him. His Presence will take your breath away, overwhelming you by His majesty, love, beauty and splendor.